Sunday, 20 February 2011

I confess

I Confess - Alfred Hitchcock (If you haven't seen it, find it and watch it).
I was away with my girlfriends from school this weekend. The trouble with my very good friends is that they know me very very well indeed. That is why I love them. They read this blog. I have known them since I was 9, when I went to school in Bedford. Their verdict on my online activities? Too *expletive* saintly. Who do you think you are? We know you drank strongbow all through your A Levels and Uni. The first drink you ordered in front of  the Claretian Missionaries you were about to volunteer for in your Gap Year was Snake Bite and Black. It is a *expletive* wonder they ever employed you. The basic gist of the conversation was that it was time to confess, before Lent, of all my genuine bad food habits. Some of them are truly terrible, some of the are horrifying. 

Food, to me, is, first and foremost, social. The sociality of it keeps it seemly. This weekend, for example, we had some of the best food I have had in a long long time. Girls cooking together makes for a very decent feast indeed. I was happy :)

The things I eat on my own are my most guilty pleasures. It can go one of two ways. If I am feeling down I will either eat nothing, little or rubbish, or there will be a round of scallops and a bottle of Sancerre on the go. Both are worthy of confession. The first is a blatant neglect of self, as if, when I am just feeding me, there is no point 'going to any trouble' or, indeed, seeking proper nutrition. The second is the other extreme; the height of luxury just for me, gluttony and excess to lift my experience of being all by myself. Indulgence of the highest order.

So, what, with the help of my friends, can I confess to? Food wise the list is long. This blog always has fairly elaborate recipes, often full of luxury and calories, which take ages to prepare, and are stuffed full of things that are hard to find, or take ages to grow. Some of the recipes, such as the breakfast prepared for St. Lucy, take ages, but are for eating early in the morning. Seriously, how often am I going to do that? Once every few years is the answer there. There is never a mention of frozen food, instant junk or flavourings? Is that a true reflection of me?

In a word? No.

I have eaten Super Noodles on thickly buttered toast many times (the last time was in August). I love it. My favourite flavours are Barbecued Beef and Bacon. I like the Mild Curry ones, but it freaks me out that they dye everything they touch bright yellow.
I like Pot Noodle (and have eaten one in the last academic year), I think it was curry flavour.
I like the cheapest vanilla ice cream (expensive stuff is wasted on me). I still pour Amaretto over it though. I have done this often in restaurants. 
I have bought Greggs' large sausage roll and a cup of tea when hungry in town many times. It is my 'caught on the run' guilty pleasure.
Every now and then I make 'muck' (Nescafe) coffee with three sugars and eat a pile of chocolate biscuits.
I like Primula Cheese and Prawn spread on buttered toast for breakfast (but I haven't had this for years).
Breakfast mostly makes me feel ill, I don't often eat before Midday. This goes for every weekday since forever.
Angel Delight, I last ate this around this time last year, but it was good.
If I am feeling under the weather, making a whole bowl of custard from Bird's Custard Powder makes me happy.
I have bought 6 scallops from the Covered Market and eaten them all.
I drink hot milk and honey when I am tired.
I love Maggi, which is basically liquid MSG.
When I was vegetarian I loved Tivoli sausage sandwiches if I had a hangover. Now, all I crave is bacon.
When I am very busy I do not eat, but live on tea and wine.
I will eat houmous and crisps washed down with white wine for an evening meal, if I am pushed.
I dip chocolate biscuits in red wine. The taste of watercress, rocket and a deep red wine sends me to heaven and back again quickly. I love it :)
As an ex-vegetarian I always feel very guilty about ordering steak, but I will always answer 'rare' to the question, 'how would you like that prepared, Madam?' In fact, I hardly like it cooked. Just bring me the meat and a deep red wine. I'll be fine. *is taken away in fantasy by the sheer thought of it* * worries this tendency is almost vampirish* *back in the room*
Any pretence I make a as a 'foodie' can be instantly destroyed by pointing to my passion for the following preferences: white bread over brown bread, plastic cheese on burgers, marmite on toast with industrial strength tea over latte's and croissants, a custard cream over any other biscuit.

There, I am beginning to run out of things to confess. What strikes me is that I think that most people either neglect themselves when they cook for one, or go overboard. Sometimes, cooking for one is just a time to take back some 'me' time. A perfectly balanced individual would do that by cooking good, simple, nutritious food well. That is what I should aspire to.  I double dare you to share your confessions in the comments before the onset of Lent, when I will take on the task of explaining 'the great fast' and my attitudes to it. :)


Emily said...

Love you Lainey! x

Tracey said...

Well confessed Elaine! I'm afraid Primula Cheese with Shrimp is going to require a few Hail Mary's! x

Cloister said...

Fine by me, palmaviolet girl :) xxx

Dominic said...

You will love the film when you do get to see it Elaine. Believe a priest X

Cloister said...

I have it Fr. D, and it is one of my favourites :) xx

The Higgins Art Gallery & Museum, Bedford said...

I don't see any Waffle sandwiches on this list?

Cloister said...

That is so more your thing than mine. I only eat those to be social. Same with the brown sauce. Honest.

Silvana said...

Disappointed!! I had expected a blog entitled "I confess" to be about juicier stuff than a fondness for pot noodle and primula cheese spread...!
See you tonight, for non-junk food and good conversation xx

Cloister said...

LOL. Sorry Silvana! Have to keep things in the realm of decency here. Although, truth be told, there is nothing decent about a pot noodle. :)